Training Day

I was, still is, a bit nervous about this new job that I have and I am not quite sure if I'm going to last that long there. I don't know really. It's just maybe because I just recently resigned from my previous job and I am not "that ready" to start a new one or maybe I just felt that I haven't got enough time to really feel what's it like to be jobless. It's not that I am not happy that I do have a new job now, come to think of it, there's a lot out there who doesn't have one, right? So what's I'm complaining about then? Maybe there's a lot going on in my mind right now and I don't think that my brain or system for that matter is fast enough to process all those thoughts. Oh, I don't know. I'm kind of confuse or something but as the saying goes, "Life must go on," so I have to go on then and see if this new job would actually work for me. D***!!!

The training started yesterday and I still have to found out yet if this is the "one" I've been looking for. Sometimes I do get intimidated with the other trainees because unlike me they already have had a couple of experience before. I even felt like an idiot at times and it's kind of frustrating. It totally sucks. I know I should not be acting like this but I don't really know why I act or feel that way. My confidence is slowly draining and I even got scared if our training is going to ask me a question and I wouldn't be able to give the right answer. Duh, you may say that, hey you're already a professional and shouldn't be acting like that, but I just can't help it. The training will last for 6 weeks or more and I am praying (hard, really hard) that I'll be gaining my confidence back and say bye to this silly new old me.