Paranoia

I could soar up high so no one could reach me
Where the words that bites could not cut me
I was hurt and I'm tired of it
I want to be numbed and I want it so badly

I want to soar up high so no one could hurt me
I could put up a fight and bite them back
But I just can't
That would not be me then

I wish I could soar up high so no one could touch me
I am hurting and I can't take it anymore
Someone's always there to stalk me
I want to fly and never go back

I'm in deep s***

As stated...

Training Day

I was, still is, a bit nervous about this new job that I have and I am not quite sure if I'm going to last that long there. I don't know really. It's just maybe because I just recently resigned from my previous job and I am not "that ready" to start a new one or maybe I just felt that I haven't got enough time to really feel what's it like to be jobless. It's not that I am not happy that I do have a new job now, come to think of it, there's a lot out there who doesn't have one, right? So what's I'm complaining about then? Maybe there's a lot going on in my mind right now and I don't think that my brain or system for that matter is fast enough to process all those thoughts. Oh, I don't know. I'm kind of confuse or something but as the saying goes, "Life must go on," so I have to go on then and see if this new job would actually work for me. D***!!!

The training started yesterday and I still have to found out yet if this is the "one" I've been looking for. Sometimes I do get intimidated with the other trainees because unlike me they already have had a couple of experience before. I even felt like an idiot at times and it's kind of frustrating. It totally sucks. I know I should not be acting like this but I don't really know why I act or feel that way. My confidence is slowly draining and I even got scared if our training is going to ask me a question and I wouldn't be able to give the right answer. Duh, you may say that, hey you're already a professional and shouldn't be acting like that, but I just can't help it. The training will last for 6 weeks or more and I am praying (hard, really hard) that I'll be gaining my confidence back and say bye to this silly new old me.

Last Week

Last week I had several interviews and job offers. Finally, I already accepted one offer. The pay is not that big. Actually, it's a hundred lower than my previous job but the thing is, with this one, I'll be able to apply what I sutudied in college. I hope so. Hehehe.

I also spend 3 days, from Thursday to Saturday, with my mom at the Pan Pacific Hotel. Though we didn't have the chance to talk a lot due to several meetings and gatherings she had to attend, just by seeing her is more than enough. Oh I miss my 3 bros, my sister and my Dad. The last time I saw them was last Holy week. It's really hard to live away from your family.

A mushy untitled poem...

I just checked my e-mail and I found one of the poem that I wrote and it's kinda mushy and all that but I like it. This particular poem was written during one of my idle days at work. I think it was around 10:39 am on the 31st of March 2004. It's untitled yet up to now and I just can't seem to find a "nice" title to go with it. Here it goes:

The first time I ever laid my eyes on you
I see something different in you
Something that I do not see from anyone else before
It's just something that you only could ever have

Your eyes twinkle as if it outshined the brightest stars
It tells a lot that no words could ever tell
It sees beyond the obvious, beyond what everyone else see
It sees the person I really am and I thank you for that

When the wind blows and caresses your face
I felt that the world had stopped for a moment
To cherish the wonder of your presence
That God has given me one of the greatest gift a man could ever have

The smile you brings is enough to brighten the darkest night
It strikes me like I could die that very moment
It completes my day, it calms my soul
No one could ever take that away from me

If the sun should hide and will not shine tomorrow
I will not falter for you already had given me eveything I could ever
hope for
If the world should stop spinning this very moment
I'm glad that I spend my last breath by your side

We may have tough times together
We may argue until we can no longer hear each other
We may hurt and wounded each other
But what we felt and shared can not simply be broken

You and I share a bond specially made for us
Carefully crafted to bind us together, forever
I thank God and the heavens above
For bringing you to me and me to you

The first time I ever laid my eyes on you
I see something different in you
Something that I do not see from anyone else before
It's just I saw me spending forever with you.

I just declined a job offer...

Earlier today, I declined a job offered to me by a certain telecoms company. I told them that I was not yet ready to work again as a sales person (one of the responsibility of a solutions consultant). I wanted to experience other fields of my profession and try my luck there. I also told them that maybe in due time I will go back to sales but right now that's the last thing on my mind.

Tomorrow, I will be having another interview with another company located in Alabang. This would be my final interview with them. I hope that everything will turn out fine so they will hire me or so that I will not decline if ever they will offer me the job. I don't really know if I'm ready for the said interview but what the heck, "come what may."

Interview series #1

I had a series of interview (and exam) last week:

First, from a credit card company. A lot of us were there for an exam and only 5 of us passed. If you ask me how I find the exam, it is so easy for anyone who took up Math as their major subject and English as their minor subject in college. They ask me "What is an ECE like you doing here?" I don't have any idea at all. Hey, they are the one who called me, duh.

Second, from a call center company. I did not intend to apply for this company but I saw their walkway add along Ayala Ave. and decided why not try it and see if my "English" is good enough for them. I went there as a walkin applicant and you know what, I actually passed the interview for the position of technical customer care representative. Then they ask me to come back the next day for the series of exams. I went back the next day and I took the exam, only 6 of used made it after the 3rd part. Then right now, I am waiting for their call for the final interview.

Third, from a bank company. I went there as early as 7 am for the jobfair because they said that "first come, first serve." I came in 4th. The interview was so quick that everyone looked at me as is they were saying, "Oh poor guy, he must have failed the interview," and all that. Actually, they scheduled me for an exam on August 2, 2004. That's about two months from now. Can I wait that long? I don't know.

Fourth, from ATO. The secretary of ATO - Davao branch called me and told me that I have to give two requirements that I lack: Authenticated original copy of Transcript of Records and authenticated original copy of College Diploma. That I have to submit it on that same day. Like I am in Manila right now so it would be impossible for me to produce those requirements. Huhuhu. I really want to try my luck at ATO but given the situation, I think it seems enough proof that the job was not really for me - at least for now. She told me that she would keep my papers for future reference in case they would be hiring people like me again in the future. Sigh.

Lastly, from a telecoms/electronics company. I arrived the company's premises (Pasig area) around 7 am coming from Sta. Rosa, Laguna. Yeah, I'm always that early. Around 8 am they started interviewing us applicants. There were only 4 of us that day but only 2 of us qualified for the exam. The questions this time were really hard for me like "Draw and exlplain the microwave point-to-point communication," or "Draw and explain the fiber optics communications." Like I knew the answer before but now it's really hard to recall those things specially when you used to be familiar with the topics like two years ago. Fortunately, I passed. They the general manager interviewed me for like 2 hours. Maybe because I just talked a lot or he just asked too much. He said that he would be willing to pay me up to Php **,*** per month plus 10% commission if I would be willing to accept the job right away (like the following week already). I told him that I still have to think it over before arriving to any conclusion because I don't want just to grab the opportunity without thinking it over and over again until I convinced myself that this is the job I want or otherwise. By the way the position is Solutions Consultant for electronics production. I have over weekends to think and I should tell them my decision on Monday. Right now, I am still not sure about my decision. Solutions Consultant is combination of Sales and Service Engineer and if I accept the job then it means that I have to contact all the people I used to talk when I was still with Panasonic. Oh I don't know, the temptation is too much to bear. Oh somebody help me please.

In general, last week was quite a busy week for me. Thanks to Igme, it makes my week very difficult and almost unbearable. Well I hope that this coming week would be "a more sunny" week for all of us - and a "good job" for me too. Hehehe.

Toy Convention

I went to the Toy Convention at megamall last Sunday. There were so many people around. Even though the venue now was quite bigger than the previous one, still it was not big enough. Nonetheless, everyone had fun - and that's most important thing.

The Komikero, headed by Gerry, was there during the event. Our group is creating an awareness about the Filipino style of creating a comic book. If you are interrested with the comic books created by Filipino artist just visit the Komikero Museum.

There were a lot of activities done during the event like cosplay, drawing contest, bidding of toys, etc. The Philippine teams of Ragnarok event were also present during the event and they will be going to Korea for the world championship. You go team Philippines. Make us all proud. Hehehe.

I went home early though because I still have an exam and an interview the following day (that is today). I had fun. It was a blast. Congrats to all organizer of the 3rd Philippine Toy Convention.

Requirements and some other things...

Yesterday, I talked to Andy, via Yahoo Messenger, and he informed me that some of our classmates in college applied for Air Traffic Controller/Navigator for ATO. He also informed me that out of a 100 applicants who took the examination, Jay Art landed at the no. 2 spot and Aya on the top 8. Andy also told me that Choes, Charles and Trestan are also going to apply for the said position. Being jobless and all that, I am quite intrigued with their enthusiasm to vie for the said position so I wanted to apply as well.

When I arrived home I immediately informed Butch Gamay about what's going on with our classmates back in Davao. That they are applying for a position in ATO and all that. I told him that I wanted to apply for the position as well. He also expresses his interest too so I told him that why not we go to Manila tomorrow (that's today actually) and get ourselves the requirements needed for the said position. So he agreed with my not so organized yet so tempting (juicy even) idea.

Around 4 am in the morning Butch Gamay woke me up and told me that it's my turn to take a bath. After 2 hours or so, we were already in Balibago waiting for the van to start moving to take us to Robinson's Galleria. Then from Robinson's we took a bus going to Cainta to drop us at Jonah's place to get Andy's key on his apartment (we needed a place to stay for 2 nights kase and since Andy is in Davao so we decided, me and Butch Gamay, to use his place). Unfortunately, Jonah was not in his apartment yet. Luckily, two of his housemates let us in and wait for Jonah to arrived. When the time came that his housemates have to leave for work, we decided to drop by their place later in the afternoon to get Andy's key.

It was raining then so we decided to take some shelter to some small area just enough to accomodate the two of us until the rain will stop. After waiting for 30 minutes the rain got worst, fortunately, there's this driver who was about to go out from his yard taking his jeepney and head to Cubao. I hurriedly asked the driver if he could let us come with him to Cubao. He said that actually his route is from Ever to Cubao and vise versa so we hopped in. I thought that this was afterall a lucky day for us.

Upon getting some of our requirements we had a couple of bad lucks. We were trapped in a "seemed like not going to end" heavy jammed of vehicles from QC to UN avenue and only to find out that they no longer issue NBI at that place so we were not able to get an NBI clearance (we don't have TV and radio kase at our boarding house so I must admit that we are not that updated in terms of what's the latest happening with Manila, or our country for that matter, right now). Then during our ride on LRT and MRT, we were forced to ride an overpopulated train and got ourselves push around with all those strangers wearing different odors and aromas (yuck!!!). And the worst thing there was that all those times, Butch Gamay and I were carrying two bags (each of us has one backpack each for all our clothes, "vanity kit", towels, etc. and one portfolio bag each for our documents and related stuff). Huh, so much for a "lucky day." I think I got ourselves jinxed with my remark earlier.

Sigh. Later in the afternoon, when we went to Jonah's place he was already there. We got Andy's key and a place to stay for a night or two. Hmmm, right now, I'm on an internet cafe writing all this S#!+ and don't have any clue whether I am making sense or not. I don't even care if my grammar's right or wrong (spelling even). The h**l I care. I just want to write and don't f*** with me, at least not today. Ok? Ok.

What linkin Park Performed

Listed below are the songs that Likin Park Performed during their concert here in Manila. I got the list from a certain blogsite from a guy named Ariel: In Between Panels

Here are the songs (in no particular order): Dont Stay, Somewhere I Belong, Lying from You, Faint, Breaking the Habit, From the Inside, Numb, Paper Cut, One Step Closer, With You, Points of Authority, Runaway, In the End, A place for my head, Wish (an original by Nine Inch Nails), Crawling, and a mix of songs composed of Step Up, Its Going Down, and Nobody's Listening.

Children of the Dam



I already finish drawing The Children of the Dam story by Oj (an artist friend). It was a story about two children who made a promise to take care of the dam and protect it no matter what. It is also a story of friendship, betrayal, and all that comes in between.

I hope that I will be able to finish the layout so that I can release it during the up and coming 3rd Toy Conference on the 27th of June 2004 at Megamall.

Linkin Park Concert



I watched the Linkin Park concert here in our country last June 15, 2004. It was a blast. I really had the time of my life. They blew me away.

I went to the concert with Rod (Komikero) together with his college classmates. There were so many people at the concert and they were all great. All of us, the crowd that is, responded the groups effort very well. We shouted, screamed and sang along with them. Not only they sing the singles from Meteora album but from the Hybrid Theory as well. They also sing an unreleased single, which I forgot what the title is, and rendered a song from The Nine Inch Nails. Linkin Park is sure one of the best bands there is.

After the concert, I was so exhausted and I just sat in the van silently until Gio drop me off at my friends place.

Real World: Chapter 2

This is my first day away from the company that I used to work. It's kinda strange though because when I woke up, around 5:30 am, I still thought that I have to go to the office. Sigh. It's seems that I have to reset my body clock so that I will be used to the new kind of situation that I am currently in - being jobless that is. Hahaha. Well, since I'm already wide awake, I decided to do the laundry, iron the clothes, fix things, etc. Yes, finally I was able to do all that chores that I usually don't have enough time to do and just let other people do it instead and pay them afterwards.

Later in the afternoon, I went to Raipo's place. Raipo is going to help me find a new place for Butch Gamay, my classmate in college, whose staying with me in my current boarding house. We are going to look for a place near LISP I (Light Industrial & Science Park I), where Butch is currently working. Butch arrived a little late. The whole search is kinda exhausting and we inquired at least three (3) houses and Butch still has to decide which house he's going to rent. It's all worth it all coz Raipo offered us merienda to replenish all the energy we used during the search. Thanks for the time and the merienda Raipo. Sa uulitin...

B#!$!+

I was so mad beyond words could ever express with a certain person for not allowing me to do things that I wanted to do. I mean it's none of his/her business what direction I gonna take with my life. I just can't fathom why he/she had to do the things he's/she's doing. I mean, I don't give a $#!+, or mind for that matter, with what he's/she's going to do with his/her life then why minding mine. It saddened me that this person did not gain or will ever gain my respect but what else can I do, that's how I see that person. He's/she's older that me but he/she behaves like a $+uP!D brat with nothing else in mind than bothering and pestering other people lives.

5 Reasons Why It's Hard to Leave PIAP

Below are the five reasons why it's really hard (and sad) to leave Panasonic.

1 & 2) Dianne & Ollen



3) Sharon B.



4) Windy Jane



5) Sharon T.

Cebu Business Trip

Mr. Tanemura and I went to Cebu last June 27 & 28, 2004 for a business trip. We visited around nine (9) customers. I also met my former classmates in college: Honnie & Cherry.

This morning I just received a copy of a picture taken in Cebu with Honnie. The resolution is not good though.

Wala Lang

Well, it's kinda weird going to work today knowing that in few days you're going to leave the company behind. Sigh. Still many of my colleagues can't understand why I left the company. Some actually congratulate me though. Nonetheless, I'm proud with my decision and I stood firm with it. Here is one of the pictures of me with my assistant manager (Ms. Tere) & my supervisor (Mr. Rudolph).

Resign?!!

Yesterday, I talked to my assistant manager telling her that I would be resigning from my current position as Sales Engineer of PIAP (Panasonic Industrial Asia Pte., Ltd. - Philippine Branch). I have been connected with PIAP for about 10 mos. and 16 days. The effectivity of my resignation is not yet fix though I wanted it on the 15th of June 2004. From then on, I will be embarking on a new journey - a very different from my current job. I have no other companies in eye yet and I also haven't applied for another job yet.

You might think that I'm kinda crazy for doing things like this one but I have to stick with my decision and have to be ready to face the consequences behind my actions no matter what. Hey, life's crazy you know and I think I'll be able to get through all these. Sigh. To tell you the truth, I'm kinda nervous but I think my decision is for the best of all parties. Oh, what's with the long face? Don't worry about me, I'm a big boy already. Ciao.

P.S.

Please pray for me as well. :)

Jasmine Trias got booted on AI

The remaining Fil-Am contestant on American Idol Season 3 got booted yesterday night. Among the remaining 3 contestants, she is believed to be the weakest. I am quite sad that she did not make it to the next round but being on the top three is nonetheless, a great achievement.



Click this link for more info...

Presentation Boboo

I already showed my presentation to our Japanese and Local co-workers and they kinda like it. I also did a trial presentation. There are bits of information to be deleted, altered or to be improved but the overall outcome is quite ok. It turned out ok that they have decided to let me report the rest of the machines (from 3 machines to 6 machines). Sigh. Now I have to exert extra effort and extra time with these presentations. How am I supposed to divide my time between drawing and my job now. Hmmm. Nonetheless, I'll try my best on both worlds.

Sequentials

Below are the sketch I made for Richard Friend's script. Tomorrow is the deadline so I have to finish it today. This is only for fun though.

HAPPY BIRTDAY TO ME

Hehehe. That's actually a late greeting. I should say belated "happy birthday to me." Yes, yesterday was my 24th birthday and I've got to spend it away from my family. It's ok. They still celebrated my birthday yesterday at the province even if I'm not around physically.

Hey thanks to those who greeted me.

PIAP FA Group Dinner

Last April 2, 2004 we, the FA Group, had a thanksgiving dinner due to a very successful 2003 Fiscal Year. We achieved 371% versus Business Plan and 261% versus Last Year. The said achievement was the record high since our group started last 1997. I was, am, glad that I am part of it.

Below are pics taken during the event:

Waahh I've got loads to do...

I have so many things to do. It took me this time to update this blog. Oh, I have to go. Still have stuff to finish.

The Passion of the Christ

I watched the movie last Saturday (April 4, 2004) with Butch Gamay and Andy. I cried. I sob.

I'm Tired...

As stated...

Mom In The City

I really had fun last week while staying at the Pan Pacific Hotel. My mom came to Manila for seminar last week (Monday to Saturday) before heading to Australia. We don't often see each other so I decided to stay with her during the night. Though it's tiring to travel from Laguna to Malate everyday, not to mention what seemed to be an endless parade of vehicles along the way, and waking up 4 am every morning to head back to Sta. Rosa for the days job, I did not mind all of that. What’s on my mind is that I’ve got to see my mom. I usually arrived late so I directly go to the Slimmer's World to try the facilities. After flexing my muscles, I would go up directly to my mom's room and then we'll have our dinner on a lavish restaurant - I’ve got to choose the place I want. I felt like a prince during my stay there, just going to the gym, swimming on the pool, eating lots of food, & etc. The good thing is I don't have to think of work. Perhaps the most important thing is I've got to spend quality time with my mom and be able to catch up with all those times that we don't see each other.

Komikero March Meeting

Yesterday, March 21, 2004, we had our monthly Komikero meeting at Sampaloc Lake, San Pablo City Laguna. There were 17 of us who attended. That meeting, I think, was the most number of members who came. Among the first timers were Lynette, Ed, ?, and Jonas' baby. We tackled about the future activities for the group.

The monthly meeting with the Komikero's is a great escape for me. With them I felt no pressure - just pure fun it maybe due to the fact that we do share the same interest - comics. Some of us love to draw, some love to write, or some just love to read comics. And you know what? We click. Despite from the fact that we came from the different areas of the country, we still go to San Pablo to meet the members of Komikero's. I for one came from Kidapawan City (I am staying in Sta. Rosa now). Staying in the boarding house with nothing to do but wait for tomorrow is much more tiring than the one hour and 30 minute trip going to San Pablo. Actually, being with the group is a stress relief for me. I remembered the first time I attended the meeting last October 26, 2003, I don't have the slightest idea what will happen during that day. I don't even know how the people I'm going to meet looked like. All I got is my bag, with drawing materials, and a piece of paper with Gerry's e-mail on it telling me instructions on how to go to Sampaloc Lake. Then I saw a guy with a huge portfolio bag arrived. "He must be one of them," I thought so I approached him. It turned out that I'm right. He's one of the Komikero's and then we exchanged introduction - he's Jonas. Then Gerry came next, followed by Jac, then Johnny with Raipo (also his first time), and finally Geoff and his sister. I never thought that they were, and still are, so warm. Though it was my first time, I did not felt as one. Many monthly meetings come and go, we even celebrated our Christmas Party at Gerry and Ilyn's place, but up to now I am still looking forward to every meeting and activity that the group is going to have.

Below are the Komikero's who attended the meeting:

From left: Jepoy, Jac (Super Logo), Azrael (Super Logo), Lynette, Ed, Johnny, Ric, Raipo, ? (sorry, I forgot the guy with goatee), me (with cap), Glenn, Geoff, Rod (bald guy), Ilyn, Jonas, Jonas' baby, and Gerry (front below).

*Picture courtesy of Gerry Alanguilan.

Customer Visit #?

It's so hot outside. I just came from one our customer to discuss one Panasonic product the Watt Hour Monitor. Ang daming bus kase labasan na pag alas dos ng mga operators ng 6 am to 2 pm shift ng mga companies located sa Laguna Technopark. Normally, it will take you 10 to 15 minute drive from our company to the customer yet due to the traffic it took me 10 minutes later. When I finally arrived at the customer, I was already drained and exhausted. The feeling of excitement was taken over by sleepiness. Luckily, thank God, everything went ok. I hope so. The customer was able to understand and appreciate our product. He told me that he's going to discuss it later with his technicians and Japanese superiors since they needed the device for their ISO 1400 requirement. I'm sure glad that despite my lack of enthusiasm and interest in explaining our product he thinks I gave him a good presentation. After the meeting, the road was still packed with enormous kings of the road - buses. Well I just sighed and thought that since I have no control over the situation I just drive the car slowly, listen to the music & watch passersby come and go. I haven't realized 'till I arrived that I actually enjoyed the trip back to the office. I even caught myself smiling and singing along with the tune of "don't know what to say whenever you are near..." hahaha, see I even forgot the title of the song. Well as a whole, the trip, so to say, went well despite of the painful rays of the sun that stings my eyes and almost drained my brain and soul away.

Downcast Update #3

Yehey page 2 already finished...

Wala lang

Naku it's been days since I haven't updated my blog and now that I have time to spare I have nothing important to say. Anyway, I am just fine in case you wonder how I am and how I've been for the past few days of my absence here.

Downcast Update #2

I already finished page 1 and I am currently working on page 2. I know that I work so slow becuase I still have to do my job. I usually go home late and tired already so it's quite hard for me to concentrate on my comics. I will assure you that I'll do my best to finish it.

All by myself

My Japanese adviser and my supervisor went to Singapore yesterday. My assistant manager went to Subic. I went to the office. Hehehe. Right now, I'm the only one left in our group (FA group). I just hope that nothing urgent or important thing will happen today.

Cherry's Birthday

Today is Cherry's birthday. She is one of my classmate in college and my friend up to now. She's a brilliant and intelligent person. I wish her all the luck and may her wishes come true. Chirps God bless and more power.

Laptop

I was kinda excited today because the other division is going to lend me one of their unused laptop. I thought this is finally a goodbye to the current one that I am using. Meaning no more hang ups, no more slow opening of files, and definitely no more bad battery pack. I really can't hide my excitement so I constantly smile. From time to time I'd ask the person in charge when he's gonna hand me the unit and he would always say he's still transferring files. Finally, this afternoon he gave me the unit and to my dismay the new (not new new but new - get my point?) laptop seems to be more slower and can't open two programs at a time. My my, I really can't believe my lack of luck regarding these things (not to mention the cellphone, but of course that's of another topic). What I did is I ask the help of Larry (ISD member who is in charge with computers and stuff) yet he informed me that he'll be able to extend his help next week coz he still has so many things to do. Naks, I should have known better, I should not get too excited and I should have not expected too much. Grrr...

Camera

My supervisor borrowed the digital camera of my officemate coz he's gonna use it at his brother's wedding. He's not familiar with the gadget so he decided to practice and he used me and my assistant manager as models. Hehehe he took so many pictures but nothing was saved. He can't seem to store the images on the camera's memory and he don't know why. After many attempts he was able to store it. Below is the sample pic:



Me and Ma'am Tere (Assistant Manager).

Birthday ni Gamay

Yesterday, Butch Gamay celebrated his birthday away from his family. I am not really sure if that was the first time away from his family like Andy (who celebrated his birthday last Feb. 16). Around 11 am Gamay texted me and asked me what time I'll be home that day and I told him that I'm going to stay the whole day at home coz I have to do my laundry and draw for my indie comics. He said that we're going to meet in Balibago to celebrate his birthday. He also requested me to text Andy and Owynne to come with us. Around 7 pm, I went to Paseo de Sta. Rosa to fetch Andy and we went to Balibago. We met with Gamay on an internet cafe and stayed there for awhile to wait for Owynne. When Owynne arrived we headed to Max. We ordered and we ate. We had fun. It was a simple celebration, with only the four of us, but worth remembering.

Downcast Update:

I still not able to finish even a single page on my project. I just started sketching yesterday with the script as my guide. It is not usual for me to ink my pencils but yesterday was a different case. Everytime I finish making one panel I just ink it right away. This maybe the reason why I draw slowly. The first page is so simple with 5 panels on it. If you may look at it, it was so simple (not eye catching or attractive to look at) that you may ask what took me so long to finish the first four panels. I do not know also. I just sketch and ink and then when I look at my watch it already took me hours in doing it. Well, I just hope that I'll be able to finish it within the set time (I'm not in a hurry though).

Just a Thought

Almost everyday there are things that irritate me. May it be the noisy ringing of the phone or the annoying empty words of the people in my work place. May it be the heavy traffic or the ever-complaining drivers of the tricycle for they don't have enough. The lists could go on forever. You may ask why these things irritate me, I could answer you just because. My life today seems so different. Maybe this kind of life irritates me.

During my elementary years I am so carefree and I don't care about tomorrow and what it might bring. I only care for today. Same with the high school years but this time you grow a bit. That was the time when you started to court your crushes, had girlfriends and experienced your first heartbreak. In college, you become more mature, responsible, since you are already preparing for your life after college. You can't afford to make even the slightest mistake for it might change everything that you were, still are, hoping for. Your relationships seems more serious right now, may it be with your family, friends or with your special someone. Those were the days.

Now, on the other hand, when you already finished college and get a degree and in my case a professional license you find the world seems larger now, so real and sometimes so empty. Gone are the days when you only care for what the day has to offer you. Gone are the days when you rely so much on people that surrounds you. This time you have to stand on your own two feet and don't expect for someone to give you something for free. You must work your ass so hard that sleeping seems to be, sometimes, not an option. This is today

You might ask me where this letter, or whatever you're calling this, leads to. Honestly, I don't know. I started with the things that irritate me, then my school days and then my viewpoint on the present. Maybe I am telling all these, just maybe, because I want to hear from someone telling me that what I'm going through right now is normal. That they are going to share their own stories and make me think and later realize that it's normal. That I am still lucky. That change is ok and soon I'll be able to handle it well, just like breathing. I hope so. Then maybe, I wanted to know why those simple things that I describe earlier irritate me. Maybe that's where I want this letter leads.

I tell you one of my experience here in the big city - Manila. It was on the month of May of 2003 that I started to apply seriously for a job. I found an ad in the paper that they are looking for ECE preferably licensed, willing to be trained, hardworking, etc. The ad was so eye catching and so well presented that I can't help but to apply (not to mention that I badly needed to have a job coz my supply depot seems to be depleted). There I sent my resume with an eclosed letter and papers that says I'm good - no, excellent. After a day or two, someone called from the company that posted that ad telling me to go for an interview and later seminar and later still consultation. As anyone who's been applying for quite a while, I also felt excited, in fact thrilled. Then the day of the interview came, I came to the agreed place. I was shocked at finding that they're going to interview a hundred or so wannabees. "My God, such a circus," I said to myself and trying to hide my dismay. I felt that I am so stupid not to investigate further. That's not the worse thing yet. As I said, there were too many people so instead of the interview, the seminar started first instead. Then the speaker came in front and introduced himself (herself? not really sure). He wore to much accessories and jewelries that he looked like a walking Oscar Statuette, only with sagging tummy. He told us stories of his past and how he came to be and he cried and shouted in front of us. It was a shocking scene for me, I never thought that person like him could exist. Exposing himself in front of an unknown crowd. I am feeling very uncomfortable right now so I begin to look at the people surrounding me and I saw someone cried (either touched by the story or felt stupid of going there), someone got mad, someone slept, etc. After the drama so to say, I hurriedly go out but someone called me and told me that I still have to be interviewed. I just said I am not in to selling shampoos and soaps (that's their product). Then I hurriedly went to the LRT station to get out from that area the soonest. That was a terrible experience for me. I thought that was the last time that I am going to undergo such a, no words could describe that experience I had, thing??? I was wrong but the following experiences were just a breeze as compared to what I just told you now. You see, in real life things like this happens and it irritates me.

Living a life that's somewhat different from the one you used to have may either break you (makes you crazy) or make you (crazy still haha). Now, I am trying to live my life one day at a time and yet still looking for my future. I try not to loose my grip. I make sure that my time does not only revolve around my job (selling still, but huge machines and softwares, not shampoos and soaps) coz there's more to life than that. From time to time I go out with my friends and call them so not to lost communications with them (they are very special you know, they keep you sane). I meet new people and do some new activities (to escape routine jobs). I hope that time will come that I no longer struggle to live (not that I have don't have money kind of struggling) and no longer get irritated on things that I have no power to control (they just make you uglier even older, trust me, hey not that I am ugly, I am sure not). Living can be so difficult at times but you have no other choice but to live so try to accept things that you cannot change and try to do your best on those you can. Life's crazy you know.

Downcast

I already finished making the script of the preview of my indie comics. It was entitled downcast after the name of the main charcter. This preview is a 10 page comics. I still have to buy materials to start making the comics. I also finished designing the costume of the character but still subject to changes. I have no idea when I'll be able to release it coz I still have other things to do aside from writing and drawing. I try my best to finish it before the 19th of March so that I'll have time to have it check with my friends and edit it if ever there are major changes that I have to make. I just hope that whoever is going to read it, will like it.

This the main character. She is called Downcast.

Indie Project

Yesterday I can't concentrate on my job, or I choose not to, because I can't stop thinking about the story that I am planning to write and later make into comics. Though I know that I am not that good in writing stories I still try hard to make it more pleasant or I should say interesting. I already have the framework, how to start, what will happen in every chapter and what will happen in the end so on and so forth but I still do not know how to present and develop my characters. I spent almost all day yesterday thinking mostly of the characters. Eight hours seems to be so long yet still not enough for me to develop at least one character. Maybe the problem is that, I am trying too hard to make my characters likable, hated for that matter, that I am now confused with so much idea. Waahh. My head ached so badly that I decided to have a haircut so that I could relax a bit and take my mind off of these story and characters that I am building. Later that day, I decided to draw instead, trying to study features and possible costumes of the characters. Then I headed to the gym to work out.

Also, a friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday about her problem. I wish she (and her family) will be able to go through it all and become a much better person after. She asked me to pray for her (and her family) and I did and I hope you (the readers) will also do the same.

I make a new blog today for my batch (AdDU ECE 2002) and I already informed them about it. They can write their own stuff on the same page. I hope through this we will be able to update each other always.

I also draw something crazy and paste some scratch paper then marker and alas below is the result:

3 Lakes Down, 4 To Go

Last Sunday (February 29, 2004), my monthly meeting with the Komikeros was somewhat different. Different in a sense that we had a different venue this time - Pandin Lake (one of the seven lakes found in San Pablo). I was late, as expected so no need for any explaination, and I texted Jonas where were they. He said at the "Spaghetti House," so I went there and we had our lunch. We had two new members - Rod Andres and Jepor Hilario. After lunch we went to the park where we saw Gerald without Bunny (akala ko talaga me pupuntang bagong girl na member). Gerald told us that Bunny could not make it for some undisclosed reasons (baka tinakot ni Gerald). Our trip was almost cancelled due to rain and strong wind but Raipo and Johnny were so persistent to go so Gerry gave us the go signal. Gerry admitted that he was, maybe still is, not familiar with the way but our willingness and determination to see Pandin lake, we went on on our journey. After minutes of walking and tracking the unfamiliar, unknown hehehe, we were able to locate the lake. Pandin lake is so much different with Sampaloc lake mainly because it's quite smaller, peaceful and clean (sorry to bring this up). Gerry took pictures, we draw, and we really had a great time, or at least that's what I though. Then after a while we decided to visit lake Yambo, it's quite near lake Pandin but the way is much more difficult, narrow and so many s#!+ along the way. We manange to locate it without a guide and was able to enjoy it's breathtaking beauty. I already visited 3 lakes (Sampaloc, Yambo and Pandin) and there are 4 more to go. Maybe later (soon I hope). After we decided to go back and we went to Shakey's. There we eat, talk, laught... Then we all head our separate ways and wait for the next month's meeting.

Below is a link to the gallery. All pictures are courtesy of Gerry A.

Tomorrow's a Holiday

Finally, after weeks and weeks of harwork I can finally relax for a day. I really look forward to either sleep all day tomorrow or spend it all just doing nothing in particular. Hahaha, I'm just so happy.

At Long Last

Yahoo... I'm so happy coz finally our midterm plan is already finished. I can relax a bit tomorrow. Meaning - no hard work for me on. Hehehe. I can just read and send e-mails or visit some of our customers. Hahaha.

Watta Week

Since last Sunday me and my assistant manager were busy preparing for our group's midterm plan to be
presented and submitted by our president to Japan. Yesterday we finished the draft and already presented to our president for evaluation. Luckily everything was ok except for some consistency in currency that my assistant manager was using. She has to choose either Japanese Yen or Philippine Peso. This afternoon, I checked and calculated every data and make some minor changes. Tomorrow, my assistant manager still has to polish it and submit it to our president.

I never thought that being in sales was, and still is, a very difficult job. Just Imagine handling so many customers and have to analyze if there are going to be some investment or major changes on their part. Our group (consist only of 4 person) has to think of the future always. We must always be alert. This was not an easy job for me. However difficult my job is, I take it as a challenge. I might be ready or not I still have to do my job no matter what.

BACK TO SUBIC

Hello pips...it's been a while since I haven't posted anything here. Hmmm. Well, tomorrow I'll be back to Subic again to attend the meeting with the customer. Then the following day, we're going to have dinner with them. I'll be coming back to Sta. Rosa on Friday.

This coming Saturday is Valentines Day already and I don't know yet if I'm going to spend it with my date or spend it doing pending jobs. I hope I'll spend the day with my date. I think I should spend it with my date. I mean, this day comes only once in a year, right? By the way, this coming Saturday is also the wedding of one of my officemates. He'll be tying the knot to spend the rest of his day with his special someone. I still have to check my schedule if I can attend the ceremony or not. Sigh. What a busy individual I am.

MORNING MEETING

I woke up very early today because we're going to have our company's morning meeting (we do this every 1st Tuesday of the month). I was not listening well since my attention was preoccupied by my hunger. Yes, I was not able to take my breakfast and it's all because of the morning meeting. I had to work all morning with empty stomach, thus, I felt so sleepy and so weak. I can't consentrate well with my work. Huhuhu.

FORMER BOSS

My former boss, together with his GM, returned to Philippines from Japan to discuss new rules, org structures, customers and etc. We had meeting with them this morning for our company presentation. Everything went smoothly. He changed a lot. He became whiter (twice as much I think) and got fatter. Hehehe. I think some things never change, he's still funny, makulit and still smokes a lot.

SKETCH PAD

I finally found my sketch pad with drawings of Carlo Pagulayan, Jac Ting Lim, Wilson Tortosa, Carlo Vergara, Leinil Yu and Gilbert Monsanto. Most of the drawings were made during the 1st San Pablo Comic Art Festival last Dec. 7, 2003 at San Pablo City.

ARTCO Pipol

I just received two group pictures of ArtCo. (Art Company) from Ruel Sarmiento who is also a member of ArtCo. This pictures was taken last March 2001. During that time our president was Janice (wearing a jumper, SY 2000-2001). I took over her position after she graduated college. I became ArtCo. president for the school year 2001-2002. We had so many projects during my time as president that we would end up late at night just making and finishing our projects. I really had fun spending time with the ArtCo. pipol. I really enjoyed what we were doing to a point that my studies are just second priority next to this club.

Ruel (1st row, 4th from left), Amy Rose (2nd row, 1st from left), Mylene (2nd row, 7th from left) and Darwin (3rd row, 6th from left, Me next) from pic 1 are my closest friends in the club. We still communicate with each other up to this time.

Desktop theme and everything else

The pic below shows the wallpaper on my laptop. This picture was taken by Gerry Alanguilan and he posted it on his website. I kinda like it so I decided to have a copy of it. The pic was taken at Sampalok lake last year (can't remember the exact date). We (the Komikeros) were walking by the lake side after our meeting (monthly, usually every last Sunday of the month).



From left to right: Mico, Me, Geoff's sister, Gerard, Geoff's gym buddy, Jac, Johnny, Jonas and Ryan (if the pic does not appear just click it!).

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I was so disappointed upon knowing that the host site I'm using for my pics no longer exist. Waaahhhh...I posted pa naman so many pics there. Well, I can't do anything about it since it's already gone so what I can only do now is look for another host. Sigh.

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Shown on the pic below is a lineart that I posted on deviantart. I was kinda bored so I decided to draw my officemate named Ollen. Actually it was just a rough sketch that I inked later. After a while I noticed that some deviantart artist kinda like it and some decided to color it. The second pic was colored by Even Hansson of Sweden and the third pic was colored by Nidhi of India. I was so happy, still am, that they like it. Hope you'll like it too.

*Just click on the pics if it doesn't appear.

Movies to Watch this 2004

These are the movies I planned to watch this year:

I hope that I will have time to spare to watch these movies because I really do have a very busy schedule nowadays. I haven't seen Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Last Samurai. Maybe if I do not have something very important things to do this Sunday, I'll watch these two movies.

Regular

My assistant manager handed me this morning my appointment letter - meaning?! I'm already a regular employee of Panasonic Insdustrial Sales Philippines (soon to be Panasonic Industry of Asia Philippines).

Last night I spend the evening with my mom at the Pan Pacific Hotel in Malate. She came to Manila yesterday for a very important meeting. Joining her are her 4 other officemates. They will go back to Kidapawan City on the 30th of January.

Kumusta

Hello!!!

Choes: Bai kumusta na kinabuhi sa Davao? Si Wewe kay si Ruel Sarmiento na archi student sa AdDU.

Wewe + Darwin: Nagpalit bya kog SBR #6, ingna lang ko kung kanus-a nyo gusto ipadala sa Davao.

Jonas: Kelan mo i-update site mo?

Aya: Belated happy birthday ha, busy ra jud kaau ko d past few weeks mao ala ko ka greet.

Ands: Pag-ayo ayo sa pag-apply. Katong g-pang e-mail nko kay g-aps na nimo?

Butch gamay: Hoi, busy na kaau ka sa new job nimo ah. Hehehe, congrats!!!

Honnie: Sige gihapon kag-OT? Madato lagi ka lagi pero matiguwang man pud dayon. Hehehe...

Gerry: Hello, kumusta na buhay-buhay...Ikumusta mo rin ako kay Ilyn.

Chirps: Hello, kumusta na ang Cebu?!

Johnny + Ryan: Kumusta projects nyo?!!

Jac: Weeeee back hehehe.

Ami: Kumusta na ...ala na akong balita sa iyo ah...

Rene: Naa ka Cebu karon bai?

Art Co pipol: Unsa nang balita sa group nato? Unsa mga bag-o na projects?

Komikero: Tuloy ba meeting sa Sunday?!

To all: Hello have a nice week ahead of you all!!!

Weekend

Yahoo!!! Finally after how many weeks of work I'll be able to relax...This coming weekend is stirely mine to enjoy...No work...Just play...

Sta. Rosa

The installation of new machines in Subic is finally over...meaning?! Less work... less pay (no daily allowance). Anyway, I will probably miss the time I spent in Subic even if I was not really able to tour the area. I will miss the moment I spent with my new friends in Subic (Jo Ann, Yurev, Matsunaga, Takage, Ide...). I will surely miss being a service engineer and do the installation and calibration of the machines. I really enjoyed the work (actually it was more of a game for me, like playing lego only we're talking of huge machines this time).

Now I'm back to Sta. Rosa again...nothing much to comment...it's just I'm back...

Subic

I just came back from Subic last Thursday (Jan. 15). I was assigned there to observe and monitor the status of the machines that we sold to one of our customer. The job was so tough and I have to stay at the customer until 3 am the next day be back around 8 am the same day. Sometimes it's really hard to open your eyes but you have got to forced them coz you still have an appointment with the customer. The saddest part of it all is that I don't have an overtime pay during the weekdays - I am in sales so my OT is fixed.

Since I came back to Manila last January 2, 2004 from Kidapawan City, I was not able to relax and have time for myself. Then, this Sunday (Jan. 18, 2004) I will go back again to Subic for the next set of machines that will arrive so the only time I have to relax is this coming Saturday. I still have to budget the time I have that day coz I still have to do my laundry (only few undies, shirts and pants left on my closet). If not, I do not have anything to wear for the following week to come. The Komikeros are planning pa naman to watch the "LOTR 3" this Saturday. I am looking forward to watch with the group. I just hope that I'll be able to budget my time well and be able to relax a bit to restore the lost energy I spent at Subic.

I must say that my job is not as easy as it seems. I really am working hard but still there are times that the effort that I exerted are not enough so I try to push a little bit harder. I am just praying that my mind and body can still manage all the activities that I am doing.

Vacation

I spent the holidays at the province (Kidapawan City - Mindanao) together with my parents and other siblings. It was a very nice celebration, simple yet memorable. I spent almost all of my time with my brothers and sister to make up for the very long time of not seeing them.

On the 29th of Dec., I attended our High School reunion. So much has changed already and most of them already have their own families. We talked about High School, College, and all that happened in between. We played games and drank all night. It was fun and I'm glad I came.

On the 1st day of January I decided to go out driving and I visited some of my clasmates in High School whom I did not see during the reunion. I collected some of them and we end up on one of our batchmate's place and we talked for hours. Then I go home the next day around 3 am and slept for awhile then packed my things for my flight back to Manila.

Back to work...

I came back to Manila last Jan. 02, 2004 and was assigned to Subic on the 4th. There were some problems with the shipment of the machines so the delivery was delayed. Our customer was so disappointed with the incident so our President, Adviser and Assistant Manager have to go to Subic to explain and apologize.

I'll be going back to Subic on Jan. 08 and be back on the 11th or the 12th. Hopefully this time the machines will arrive on Subic on time. I will be assigned on checking all the M/C and its parts to confirm that the package is complete. By the way I have to check 11 Machines and all of its parts and accessories. It is expected that I'll finish checking it within 24 hours.

Due to the sudden changes of my schedule, I won't be able to do the other planned schedule.